That’s about the size, where you put your eyes, that’s about the size of it.
This past Sunday we celebrated Pentecost, an occasion which also marks the anniversary of my waking from a coma 2 years ago. A question I am asked often is, “Are you back to normal?”
Not a simple question to answer as I am not quite sure what “normal” is. Partly because I can’t remember how I was exactly before this incident. Partly because I have never been able to pinpoint what normality is.
But as this question comes from concerned friends and family, I reckon it warrants some reflection.
Here’s what I know:
- my energy levels are limited and unpredictable; some days are more energetic than others. So, I try to get all the things I am yearning to do sorted early in the day: run/exercise, bake my loaf, practice my music, the things that tickle my fancy. And then, everything else is is a bonus! I am able to do this because of understanding family and friends who are used to me checking out early from social occasions and/or changing plans.
- some memories are lost. This is not forgetfulness, although that also happens a great deal. I have been assured this is “normal” at my age. Regardless, there are things which I have absolutely no recall, even with cues and help from loved ones.
So, how do I feel about my current state of being? Just as the song suggests, it’s all about perspective. Where am I putting my eyes?
I am relishing the freedom to do the things that give me joy. There are still chores and errands, but those have ceased to govern my day. No one is going to expire because laundry wasn’t done, or the floor wasn’t mopped, or if leftovers were served. And I would like to think that because I now have the luxury of choice, I can be more life-giving to those around me (which was not always easy in the past, as I felt tugged in all directions): to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend.
Again, I am grateful to those who continue to journey with me: for your encouragement, support & care. I feel very much blessed and loved. May you all have a healthful and reflective year ahead.