You may have noticed that the face of my blog has changed from Sunrise, Sunset: Matters of Perspective, to All Things Bright & Beautiful: Delighting in Our World.
It began with an encounter with Lizzie on a morning run. I was squatting on the ground, attempting to photograph him without scaring him off. Two fellow-pavement users walked by, balked at the sight of Lizzie & I (I’m not really sure who created a greater sensation) and exclaimed: “You’re not scared of it?!!!”
Up till then, it didn’t even occur to me that I should be frightened. Sometimes, ignorance is really bliss! Inevitably, my thoughts turned to the year that has gone by; June 2017 was spent
- recovering so I could leave the hospital (after almost a month)
- relearning to breathe, walk and perform an assortment of other mundane tasks so I could reclaim a semblance of my life
- rehabilitating so that I could become independent again
Memories of my ICU experience continue to elude me. The 12 days of the coma are completely lost save what is recounted by my loved ones. Even after I regained consciousness, my few weeks in the hospital remain fragmented and surreal. I was repeatedly reassured that I am the miracle of the ICU pneumonia patient who survived. Oblivious to the ramifications of my situation, I focused and worked hard on getting myself out of the hospital and back home. I chose to think on what I needed to do, as opposed to what I could not. Only now, I find out that my Loving Husband (and others) were watching & waiting to see how much I had lost, in brain & physical function. Their gift to me was to keep their doubts and worries to themselves, and to allow me to heal on my own time & terms.
Are you back to normal? is the most frequently asked question I’ve received since then. I’d like to think that I am better than normal, or at least, better than before this episode, since I am not quite sure I know what normal is.
I don’t think too hard before I try new things, I seek for Beauty & the Bright side of things, and I don’t apologise when I to do things for myself, like taking singing and piano lessons, choosing alone-time to scribble or nap, or to hold court with anyone who will listen about poetry, music, books and the less pragmatic aspects of living.
This year has been a reflective time of introspection & rediscovery. Of all the resolutions I apparently made while I was in a drug haze, I have cantored the Psalm in church, embraced new experiences rather enthusiastically (photography, healthier food, music-making), and though far from being written, continue to work towards that elusive book.
After meeting Lizzie in the gardens, I am inspired to move away from introspection to venture outwards; to look to this world I enjoy each day for the lessons Our World has in store for me.
Thank you for continuing to journey with me, to share in my Delights as I revel in the beauty of all things bright & beautiful, all creatures great & small.
Feature Photo is taken at Symphony Lake, Singapore Botanic Gardens.