I try not to be a worrier. I work hard not to be plagued by fear or anxiety. At an early age, I learned to rationalise, compartmentalise and let my neurotic thoughts go as quickly as possible.
After my brush with mortality, I attacked my rehabilitation with determination and vigour, giving very little space for negativity to creep in; why waste energy on what I could not do, when I needed every little bit of it to work on what I wanted to do.
Now that I am better, stronger, and mostly back to a semblance of normality, there is room for doubt to creep in. During the short plane-ride to Bangkok just last week, I started to hyperventilate over the possibility I might not be able to breathe properly. Watching my two capable children do their thing, I was struck with the worry that they might not be getting enough exercise, enough sleep, enough socialisation, enough ….. Running in the rain today, I was stricken with the thought that I might catch pneumonia again from being soaked in the (relative) cold. And it could go on and on.
Or not. I can choose to what I have done before when these thoughts start to invade my headspace. I can ask myself the requisite questions: is there any truth to these concerns? Is there anything I can do about it or minimise the risk? And if so, make a plan to get it done. If not, move on.
Now, I just have to pray for strength to live each moment to the fullest, which doesn’t include giving Fear too much time & sway.
Feature Photo: Rosehip bud is growing in our Balcony Garden!
All things bright and beautiful 
I guess the hyperventilating was to be expected Juju on your first foray out of Spore since your illness, so pleased that you overcame it eventually, so on to more trips eh?
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On on!
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My worst fears are for my children and you are so powerless to keep them safe. They are both well into adulthood but I still have sleepless nights sometimes.
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I reckon we will never stop thinking of our kids & safety; I know my mother still worries for us!
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You go girl! Take each day as it comes!
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Thank you for your support & affirmation!
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I think you are right to see if there is a message in these thoughts (e.g. will a thermal layer keep me warmer when I am running in cold weather), thank them for drawing attention to something and then move on. Sometimes these thoughts are part of a survival instinct and a friend rather than an enemy ☺💖 xxx
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You have articulated so poignantly what I’ve been thinking on the last couple of days, Xenia. These thoughts though uncomfortable and not pleasant, are in fact, as you say, an instinct which leads to survival and betterment.
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There is a danger that fears can rule our lives sometimes it seems like a battle to stop them! I think it’s understandable to worry for our children. My son is now an older teenager and heading out into the world. So happy for him and mostly without worry although when he heads into London etc I can’t help it. As for flying, that always has me in mini-panic attacks… the lack of control is a major element. Enjoy life, worry when you need to and keep busy! Warmest wishes, Annika
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Thanks for the solidarity and the encouragement, Annika! You’ve hit it right on the head: for me, lack of control is a Biggie!
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hear hear – I agree – let’s not turn on the faucet or it will flow and flow (and we are to bring every thought captive) -;)
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You have been open about a subject that to greater or lesser extent affects most of us. Deep anxiety is a heavy burden and to find the way to combat it is a great battle won.
Fear for your children is to some extent quite natural but it can become irrational and hamper both child and parent.
I think you got it right. Lack of control. To trust and let go.
Thanks for an excellent post.
Miriam
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Thank you for taking the time to read and respond, Miriam. It is comforting to know that one is not alone when facing fears.
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Coping with our fears is a tough thing. It can literally drain all energy from us. I also try to fight it off as much as I can because there simply are some things you don´t have any control over, and to worry about it is just useless. Of course, this realization only helps a little 😉 I´ve learned a strategy which I think can really help with it though: you can allow yourself a certain amount of time each day to give in to all your worries, like 15 minutes or half an hour. You should do this at about the same time, this way if fears pop up into your head, you can shoo them away and tell them that you´re going to think about it later when it´s time. It needs some practice but it works. 🙂
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Thank you Sarah, for sharing your strategy: I like this very much – I choose the time & place to reflect and mentally deal with the issues & fears, so that I free myself the rest of the day from the nagging or sudden dreads!
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You´re welcome! I think it works really well, sometimes at least 😉 It needs a bit getting used to though.
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How I appreciate your open, vulnerable writing, the way you share yourself with us. And your wisdom. I copied these sentences and added them to my collection of quotes worth rereading: “I can ask myself the requisite questions: is there any truth to these concerns? Is there anything I can do about it or minimise the risk? And if so, make a plan to get it done. If not, move on.”
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Thank you, Janet. I am so tickled and gratified that my writing shares space in your Collection.
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