I try not to be a worrier. I work hard not to be plagued by fear or anxiety. At an early age, I learned to rationalise, compartmentalise and let my neurotic thoughts go as quickly as possible.
After my brush with mortality, I attacked my rehabilitation with determination and vigour, giving very little space for negativity to creep in; why waste energy on what I could not do, when I needed every little bit of it to work on what I wanted to do.
Now that I am better, stronger, and mostly back to a semblance of normality, there is room for doubt to creep in. During the short plane-ride to Bangkok just last week, I started to hyperventilate over the possibility I might not be able to breathe properly. Watching my two capable children do their thing, I was struck with the worry that they might not be getting enough exercise, enough sleep, enough socialisation, enough ….. Running in the rain today, I was stricken with the thought that I might catch pneumonia again from being soaked in the (relative) cold. And it could go on and on.
Or not. I can choose to what I have done before when these thoughts start to invade my headspace. I can ask myself the requisite questions: is there any truth to these concerns? Is there anything I can do about it or minimise the risk? And if so, make a plan to get it done. If not, move on.
Now, I just have to pray for strength to live each moment to the fullest, which doesn’t include giving Fear too much time & sway.
Feature Photo: Rosehip bud is growing in our Balcony Garden!