They Who Keep Me Real

To be true to myself  was my mantra as an angst-ridden teen & young adult.  But what does that mean?  What is the cost of that?  How does it end up with me slapping on so much face paint on that the real me is lost?

This week, I am challenged to consider radical authenticity, to explore what it means to be authentic.  How do I feel right now, in this moment? When I identify how I feel, do I judge it? Is there a “should” that arises, like “I should be happier” or “I should be reading that book”?

“When will I understand everything?”  I asked my father when I was about 13.  He looked at me with what could have been pity (but it was a time long ago, so, I could have been wrong) and replied “I’m afraid the more you learn, you will discover there is even more you don’t know”.   And he was right.  The more I struggled to dig inside, to do the right thing, to be true to the self I thought I needed to be, the harder it became.  Add on perceived expectations of peers, parents & significant others, it became downright exhausting.

Not surprisingly,  I went full circle and became extremely self-absorbed and self-centred.

It was only when I met Loving Husband that I was pulled back out of myself.  His strong belief in the healing & sustaining power of Love gave me hope.  When Older Daughter, then Younger Daughter came along, I began to understand the meaning of unconditional acceptance, sacrifice & love.  Slowly, I began to heal, to trust and to believe again.

In the last decade or so, Loving Husband and I have been involved with the World Wide Marriage Encounter movement.  It was here we learnt that Feelings are neither right nor wrong.  It is how we act on those feelings which are decisions to Love, or not.

To be true to myself: it is much easier now that I know myself a lot better.  Living authentically has become a natural outcome of the choices I make each day.   And for this, I am grateful to those who support this life I live.

Feature Photo: taken at Garvey’s in the Park, Ipoh

 

 

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7 Replies to “They Who Keep Me Real”

  1. What a nice share! The point about feelings being neither right now wrong is a good one – and too many folks act on feelings they should dismiss – or deal with (as u. Noted) in a different way.

    And thinking of you as that young teen wanting to be true to yourself – well it reminded me of the older teens who just think they know it all! I was there – and it still puzzles me how so many teens do thing they know it all – /and amazes me that “empathy”
    Takes a while for some folks to get!

    And it sounds like you and the hubs have a nice bond and friendship – love that photo too!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A sweet, authentic post! So glad God blessed you with a good husband to draw you out. Through the years Jesus has taught me the value of being others-focused, so much better than self-absorbed! Blessings to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

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